HD blog my self harm

Theres an understanding without the need for words
and a good friend would know.

A life changing situation or event, can cripple all of your emotions, my advise would be dont think of the enormity of it all in one sitting.

My coping mechanisms have been easier to put in place later in life, whereas in earlier years they were more destructive and harmful, so from that prospective its harder to deal with your serious emotional issues when you are younger, and have no support from family and friends or mental health services.

Sadly my experience was with no support, and thats an isolating feeling, that you dont belong, and you are under constant scrutiny and criticism from those around you, especially my mother, i always wanted to please both my parents, but mum was so much harder to please, and it detroyed me inside, that i was perhaps a disappointment to her.  i just want to add that in later years, we put all of this behind us, a couple years before she died, so yes there were many unhappy years and upset, but as i will propbably tell you in another blog, you can put things to bed, forgive, forget, after all none of us are perfect…

I first used self harm as a coping mechanism at age 13,  i needed reassurance and support and love, and with a very victorian style childhood, i had none of these, and i would consider that they are vital to your development at that age.

My Daddys Blog

My Daddy

My very tall shy daddy, who teased me for hours keeping my teddy bears up high above his head and at 6 foot 4  I obviously couldn’t reach them lol, I used to get upset, then he would feel sorry for me and let me have them back.   I could always talk to him about anything when I was younger, he would give me sensible practical advice that was easily understood at a young age.  He didnt do complicated he liked things calm and restful, he did get anxious and retreated into himself, and in later years his own company with his computers etc. Whilst mum did her own thing, they were happy in their own bubble oblivious probably of life and their local town.

When my daddy fixed his car, I was always first to volunteer, and my brother didn’t particularly like dirt oil, and car engines lol, I was such a tomboy but enjoyed helping dad and taking an interest in his hobbies as I knew that was important to him.

I would say I was a Daddies girl without hesitation, if I was in trouble I would always have gone to dad, although I loved mum dearly she wasn’t as approachable.

I think due to the Huntington’s disease my daddy suffered from more mental health issues than he could cope with, I was told that he struggled when he was younger to cope with pressures of life etc, and I think he lived in his brothers shadow which wont have helped.

He witnessed his mother have a stroke when she was only 52 which must have been horrendous for him.

Nellys blanket

Nellys blanket

Nellys house is like a cuddly blanket,
It draws you in like a magnet.
Every room you go in gives you a different kind of cosy,
so it would be rude not to have a nosy.

Every wall tells a story,
even the lavatory.
Which is first on the right,
In case last nights curry is no longer air tight.

The bedroom which is Nellys boudoir,
and her drawers, alongside the bottles of pinot noir.
Slippers waiting patiently for Nellys feet,
To look any further would be, indiscreet.

The lounge is a life story wall by wall,
it’s like an gallery, or a posh hall.
A funny room full of art,
dont stay too long though, she might fart.

The kitchen is her vintage place,
where she loves to dine, in any case.
Nellys in love with her own cafee
meeting daily with herself for an afternoon soiree.

Nellys home is her protective bubble,
where she retreats when there’s trouble.
So the only way she’ll take leave to go,
will be in a box with her pinot noir, and her dildo.

Helen George copyright 2021

My empty chair

My Empty Chair

I never thought you would be my empty chair,
you were taken far too quick,
and it didn’t seem fair,
at times it made me sick.

It’s hard to imagine life without you, so I don’t.
I wait for you to come through the door,
but i know that you won’t.
But it doesn’t stop me wanting you more.

This new chapters so hard to handle, 
and it won’t have you in its story.
So every day I will light a candle,
to keep your love alight my Dorrie

By your loving Wifey
Helen George

Copyright 2020

A Dog called Farty

A dog called Farty

Why would you give a dog such a name,
although appropriate, given the embarrassment and shame.
I’d never seen a dog with such a demeanor,
as witnessed  by the window cleaner.

Whilst sipping tea next door in their, posh Chinaware,
the dog was entertaining, but oh, the glassware.
And at first it seemed hilarious,
but now it was becoming more precarious.

We thought it was just a game to be fair,
as he floated down the stairs,  in mid air,
All this, whilst we were in the neighbours house for a cuppa,
I wont bother going round for another.

What makes a dog descend down the stairs at such speed,
then pummel itself into the Harris tweed.
I think with reflection this was no ordinary behaviour,
and the backdraft had a very disturbing flavour.

Flatulence, I suspect fueled this dogs trick,
one fart, and up like a pogo stick.
And so, that was where he got his name,
still, it’s an accident waiting to happen, near a naked flame.

Helen George  copyright 2021

Dont Make a Fuss

Dont make a fuss

When I am gone, don’t make a shrine,
better of raising a glass of wine.
I never liked a fuss anyhow,
so don’t bother now.

Just a plot,
i dont want a lot.
The basics, just a wooden box,
maybe larger than a matchbox.

Bun fight, that sort of thing,
people expect it, cakes butties and a chicken wing.
Mustn’t go overboard really,
need to save the pennies for me husband, who I love dearly.

He’ll be next though mark my words,
but he’ll only get two thirds.
As long as its enough to dig the hole and put us under that tree,
cant go wrong with buy one get one free.

Helen George copyright  mar2021